Author Archive

Challenging the “High-Functioning”/”Low-Functioning” Divide

I know that those of us who are perceived as “high-functioning” have some real privilege compared to people who are perceived as “low-functioning.” For one thing, we’re less likely to get harassed by cops. I also know that there are huge differences among the ways different people experience madness and mental disability. I also think that the division really hurts all of us.

I want a world where we can all get what we need and get treated with dignity, where institutions don’t get to decide who deserves what based on what label they put on us.

Accessing Mental Health Care While Trans

Trigger Warning: physically and sexually violent imagery, transphobia

I recently moved to Boston from NYC. Moving can be stressful for a variety of reasons. As a trans man with mental illness, it can be especially stressful for me to try to make sure all of my healthcare continues without gaps.

Needles, Fear, and T

Trigger Warning: for those afraid of needles.

I have a fear of needles.

It is a pretty common fear. It kind of makes sense. I mean, needles do hurt, often just a tiny bit and but sometimes quite a lot, depending on what they’re doing. Plus, they invade some of the most private parts of our bodies and remove parts of us or put new things inside of us. It’s creepy. And people don’t always ask permission before they put needles inside us (although they almost always should). Needles can help us, but they can also harm us and/or reveal things about us that we may not wholly want to know. Needles can be violating.

More lists

I really want to sleep without sleep meds. I have had insomnia off and on for almost twenty years, since I was fifteen. When I was younger, it was usually trouble getting to sleep. As I got older, it became trouble with staying asleep. I took Ambien every night for around a year, which at first was bliss. It stopped working, though, and I spent three weeks sleeping almost not at all. Then I got Lunesta, which I have taken every night for the last year. If my options are really not sleeping or taking meds, I am definitely willing to take meds.

New Experiences

A few months ago, I saw someone who was not there. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a woman with long hair and a long dress leaning over the bed. She was not frightening or threatening in any way. I gradually realized that I was seeing her features more clearly than I should be able to, given how dark the room was. Then she faded away. I am as certain that I was awake then as I am ever certain that I am awake.

Crisis Checklist

Inspired by work people have done on madness maps and mental health first aid kits, I decided to make a checklist/flowchart to use when I am having a particularly hard time or am in crisis. It was a good process for me to make because it helped me to really think about what has helped me or caused me trouble in the past. I really like that we can make these sorts of tools for ourselves instead of relying on more general (often judgmental) dos and don’ts or advice from people who never know us as well as we know ourselves.

Dangerous Crazy Queers

There’s an organization in NYC that I’ve been really interested in joining. It’s called Rainbow Heights Club and its tagline is “Support and Advocacy for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Mental Health Consumers.” Sounds great to me! I’ve heard some good things about it over the years from staff and members. Some of the groups sound really interesting to me. They include topics like sex, spirituality, stress, skills, and changing the way mental health services get provided to LGBT people.

“Trans Affirming” Therapist Video

This video is based on intake I did with a therapist at the Institute for Human Identity a few years ago. Another trans person had a good experience with a therapist there, but I got assigned to someone else and it didn’t go so well. A lot of the dialogue from the therapist is verbatim what I remember him saying to me. Only some of my responses are accurate to life, though. I didn’t actually tell him he was a jerk, for example, but I found it rather satisfying to do so in this video.

My Partner With Asperger’s (Gabriel)

I started to read an anthology written by partners of people with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) called Asperger’s Syndrome and Adults… Is Anyone Listening?. I only managed to read a handful of the pieces before I put it down in disgust. Mostly, I was hoping for tips on how to be a good ally. Instead, I […]

My Mother, Madness, and Me

I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Gabriel Charonzec. In his first post with us, he talks about his relationship with his mother, and how she supported him through his struggles with anxiety and depression. Sometimes love conquers all, and we are glad that this was one case in which […]