My experience in the mental hospital

Trigger Warning: Involuntary restraint, abuse from hospital staff.

 

 

 

I was released from the mental hospital today. The details of my experience are harrowing and hard to swallow, so read at your own risk and please be gentle with yourself.

I was passing by an elderly man in a wheelchair, and he grabbed at my arm. I shook my arm free and pulled away from him. All of a sudden, two nurses and a tech were yelling at me, telling me  to go to my room or sit down. Admittedly, after they said that, I became quite defiant, but not a danger or threat to myself or others. I put my pencil and paper down on the counter next to me so that if they were going to restrain me, they’d have free access and it wouldn’t look like I was struggling. The tech argued with me for a while longer then dragged me to the seclusion room, me screaming “I have PTSD, please do not touch me!” As the nurse was saying my wishes weren’t a big deal because a lot of people have PTSD. My problem is that I’ve never been treated for it. Anyway, I was in the back, pulling my nail polish off, and a man appeared in the window telling me if I continued I’d be put in restraints. I continued, ever the defiant woman, and I was immediately shoved to the bed (really a lump of hard plastic) and restrained to it. I was left there for an hour, screaming to be let out, and a nurse came in, told me to admit I was psychotic and contract for safety and I would be let out. I have never had a symptom of psychosis so this was confusing to me. I told her “it was psychotic behavior and it won’t happen again, and I contract for safety” she told me she would talk it over with the other nurses. Then another hour later, after more screaming, a male not rise came in, and told me he was told I was picking at my and so I was put in restraints. I told him I wasn’t. He left, and another hour later, another female nurse came in, telling me I refused to own up to my self harm. she said  Doctor had ordered the restraints and only I could get myself out. I told her I was self harming because I was upset, even though I hadnt self harmed at all, just so she may let me out. Another hour passed and a third female nurse came in to check my blood sugar, accompanied by a male tech, who had decided then to tell me the doctor had ordered restraints for four hours and I would not be let out before then. Another five minutes passed and another female nurse came in, accompanyied by the first male nurse, and unlocked the restraints.